My Shorthand Slaps My Face

Damn; internet’s down. #firstworldproblems
Tweets: refuses to use internet shorthand.
Uses semicolons and colons. #pretentious
Talks about writing. Wants to be a writer. Claims to be a writer. #pretentiousdouche
[Racist joke.]/[Misogynist joke.]/[Uses word like misogynist.] *checks surroundings*
Goes to private school. Hangs out exclusively with white people. #socialjustice
Thinks uncool is cool. Associates posers with #Apple. #just #social
Writes poems. Writes urbane poems. Writes word urbane.
Checks definition of urbane. Realizes history is filled with urbandictionary.com.
#admitit #nobodycares #meta
Mentions degree not yet earned.
Prides self in popish love, poppish hate.
Likes to confuse others to sound smarter. #burn
Waits for you to figure out it out. #late

#fivesecondrule *checks surroundings*

Loves to be hated. Tells friends he’s friendless.
#aggravated #you’rejustjealous

The five seconds ends. I look dumber than I feel.
#selfdeprecatinghumor #proud #unashamed
Points out own irony. Subtle. So subtle.
#irony *shoots self* #overkill #x2 #combo!